About alitbaby : Fuck off.
alitbaby's FML badges
I like things a lot, 20 times in fact
You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
alitbaby's favorite FMLs
by Hyenayena / 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML
by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love
by ccgundum / 02/01/2014 at 2:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML
by IceQueen / 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML
by fitzy79 / 01/31/2014 at 3:04pm / United States / Work
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML
by fuckfuck / 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…