About alitbaby : Fuck off.
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alitbaby's favorite FMLs
by Hyenayena / 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML
by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love
by ccgundum / 02/01/2014 at 2:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML
by IceQueen / 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML
by fitzy79 / 01/31/2014 at 3:04pm / United States / Work
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML
by fuckfuck / 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…