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alitbaby
  • Town/Country : Amity, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 894
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : My name's Alissa, or Ali. I'm fun as hell, and have some pretty funny stuff happen to me. Wanna know me? Get at me!

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alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (2896)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23757) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (4634)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (11325)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (1686)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (1154)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (4983)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (1832)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (6997)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (15159)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (3977)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



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