alitbaby

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Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 7:34am)

alitbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9094
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

alitbaby's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:04pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:58pm<b>AKanon</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:12am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:36am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:01pm<b>whattaguy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punjabi209</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:00pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Claude4</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:48pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:38am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:28pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:01am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 4:16pm

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alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

by sassy_girl144 / 05/29/2015 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

by shmoooopie / 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

by MarieAmber18 / 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 10:21am / Mexico / Health

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

by mobigomo / 05/27/2015 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

by FMLintheanus / 05/27/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

by shitty shit / 05/26/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

by stupid / 05/26/2015 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

by tmi4me / 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm / United States / Work

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

by witchybaby89 / 05/25/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

by WellThatWasRude / 05/25/2015 at 2:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho / 05/24/2015 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

by hellpop / 05/24/2015 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

by uwotm8 / 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation