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Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 11:13pm) | Search for a member
About alitbaby : Fuck off.
I like things a lot, 20 times in fact
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Today, me an boyfriend looool were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat cummed into the room, sat, an stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather,hen a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
TODAY,HILE PLAYING BADMINTON AT SCHOOL, I GOT AN OPPONENTHO IS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED. SINCE I'M TERRIBLE AT THE GAME, I GUESS THE TEACHER ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH. I WON THE MATCH, MY FIRST VICTORY EVER. MY TEACHER ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING TO HUMILIATE HIM. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with mah 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk!! When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me an screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into mah balls!! FML
Today... I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind an freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
Taday mah mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm an stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since mah wife an I r expecting our first child, I should ( get used to waking up at all hours. ) She calls mah work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML
Friday 27 March 2015