Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alitbaby

Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 7:34am) | Search for a member

alitbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7524
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

alitbaby's page activity

Visits<b>AKanon</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:12am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:36am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:01pm<b>whattaguy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punjabi209</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:00pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Claude4</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:48pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:38am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:28pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:01am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 4:16pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:36am<b>chance_is_alone</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 11:08pm

alitbaby's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of alitbaby's badges

alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (3328)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (3588)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31321) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (4305)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (14758)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (1571)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (5671)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (6561)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

#21418223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (2702)

On 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by TooLoud - United States (California)

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

#21418098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (4991)

On 05/30/2015 at 2:53pm - money - by broke and hungry - United States (New Jersey)

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

#21417945
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (2599)

On 05/30/2015 at 6:59am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (2757)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: