Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alissa412

Offline (the 02/27/2015 at 3:19pm) | Search for a member

alissa412

2Liked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1905
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:18am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:56am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm<b>haran69</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 2:27am<b>tashag93</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 6:43am<b>Seany_93</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 11:53am<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:18pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:25pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:02pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:53am

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (146085)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86737) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99301) - you deserved it (23184)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55833) - you deserved it (8801)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (130186)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92244) - you deserved it (27534)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
935 comments

I agree, your life sucks (364068) - you deserved it (41075)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
935 comments

I agree, your life sucks (364068) - you deserved it (41075)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

#832859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69296) - you deserved it (4548)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by BrilsmurfO_O (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65379) - you deserved it (6064)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71332) - you deserved it (18443)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

#792519
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90446) - you deserved it (3952)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (85268)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: