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alissa412

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alissa412
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

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alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87986) - you deserved it (26168)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328806) - you deserved it (35684)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328806) - you deserved it (35684)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

#832859
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64512) - you deserved it (4131)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by BrilsmurfO_O (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62354) - you deserved it (5746)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66301) - you deserved it (16919)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

#792519
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79698) - you deserved it (2727)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15826) - you deserved it (81108)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44939) - you deserved it (3144)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88798) - you deserved it (8346)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151329) - you deserved it (25344)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183495) - you deserved it (27531)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

#548687
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55294) - you deserved it (8471)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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