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alissa412

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alissa412
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 690
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

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alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39038) - you deserved it (2375)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56079) - you deserved it (10645)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76453) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79281) - you deserved it (19063)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (43840)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10166) - you deserved it (38497)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70183) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61531) - you deserved it (4470)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (133718)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81741) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92308) - you deserved it (21262)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54020) - you deserved it (8570)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (124611)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)



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