About alissa412 : I can usually be found making sarcastic comments, and attempting to collect badges (not sure why, something addicting about figuring out what they are)
alissa412's FML badges
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
alissa412's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML
by JC / 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML
by juliasaman / 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by slcbabii23 / 10/01/2009 at 3:56am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by GirlFromAus / 09/25/2009 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by kitchencrime / 08/28/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by irony / 08/16/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Health
by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We… Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about… Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I…