alissa412

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Offline (the 11/24/2016 at 2:17pm)

alissa412

7Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4299
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About alissa412 : I can usually be found making sarcastic comments, and attempting to collect badges (not sure why, something addicting about figuring out what they are)

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:43pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:21pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>oldjohnny</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:30am<b>monzu</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:52pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>itcouldbeanyone</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:19am<b>chriss2015</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:21am<b>darwinism</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:31am

Fucked!<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:40am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:14pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:52pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

by JC / 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

by juliasaman / 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

by slcbabii23 / 10/01/2009 at 3:56am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

by GirlFromAus / 09/25/2009 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

by kitchencrime / 08/28/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

by irony / 08/16/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids