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alissa412

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

alissa412

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1054
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:15pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm<b>haran69</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 2:27am<b>tashag93</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 6:43am<b>Seany_93</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 11:53am<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:18pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:25pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:02pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:53am<b>miralars</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 11:07am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 7:45am

alissa412's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48991) - you deserved it (8657)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59644) - you deserved it (7145)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61950) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (13558)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (10710)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49527) - you deserved it (6430)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (52865)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14014) - you deserved it (118586)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

#4212428
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57151) - you deserved it (17193)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52046) - you deserved it (14206)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (53409)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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