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alissa412

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 4:43am) | Search for a member

alissa412

3Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2417
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:50am<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:50am<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:18am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:20am<b>ladykkay</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:54am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:03am<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:18am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:56am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Inception

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See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

#5340344
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (3964)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63309) - you deserved it (16059)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (4037)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58477) - you deserved it (11707)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120393) - you deserved it (9155)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49331) - you deserved it (8697)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60116) - you deserved it (7180)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63501) - you deserved it (2664)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (14001)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42529) - you deserved it (10950)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49888) - you deserved it (6451)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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