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alissa412

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alissa412

7Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3231
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About alissa412 : I can usually be found making sarcastic comments, and attempting to collect badges (not sure why, something addicting about figuring out what they are)

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:21pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>oldjohnny</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:30am<b>monzu</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:52pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>itcouldbeanyone</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:19am<b>chriss2015</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:21am<b>darwinism</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:31am<b>lat187</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:22am

Fucked!<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:40am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:14pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:52pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18971) - you deserved it (33886)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (21610)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92455) - you deserved it (14558)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (2374)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (3546)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17455) - you deserved it (45132)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (3149)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65613) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (3553)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44635) - you deserved it (3606)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (21490) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44220) - you deserved it (10599)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)



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