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alissa412

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

alissa412

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:15pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm<b>haran69</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 2:27am<b>tashag93</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 6:43am<b>Seany_93</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 11:53am<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:18pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:25pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:02pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:53am<b>miralars</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 11:07am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 7:45am

alissa412's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15353) - you deserved it (42244)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (2867)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60846) - you deserved it (4741)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (3306)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (19920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (12306)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (3876)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

#6510175
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8417) - you deserved it (51441)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:02am - health - by Numnum (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)



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