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alissa412

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

alissa412

3Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2440
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:50am<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:50am<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:18am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:20am<b>ladykkay</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:54am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:03am<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:18am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:56am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (9004)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15238) - you deserved it (35171)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (6287)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (3621)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (12983)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2703)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (4451)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (5374)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39838) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (36140)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30718) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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