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alissa412

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alissa412

3Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2410
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:50am<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:50am<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:18am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:20am<b>ladykkay</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:54am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:03am<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:18am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:56am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Inception

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alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (6467)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64707) - you deserved it (3763)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49671) - you deserved it (8761)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64269) - you deserved it (5160)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (7095)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52744) - you deserved it (5806)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (52338)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (5185)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (2875)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (12570)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47514) - you deserved it (6146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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