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alissa412

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

alissa412

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1132
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:15pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:18pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:11pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:51pm<b>haran69</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 2:27am<b>tashag93</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 6:43am<b>Seany_93</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 11:53am<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:18pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:25pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:02pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:53am<b>miralars</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 11:07am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 7:45am

alissa412's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50044) - you deserved it (7073)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51192) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (51066)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (3198)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (12365)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (3322)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (8777)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (34949)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (6242)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)



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