alissa412

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Offline (the 06/15/2016 at 2:30pm)

alissa412

7Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3705
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About alissa412 : I can usually be found making sarcastic comments, and attempting to collect badges (not sure why, something addicting about figuring out what they are)

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:43pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:21pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>oldjohnny</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:30am<b>monzu</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:52pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>itcouldbeanyone</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:19am<b>chriss2015</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:21am<b>darwinism</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:31am

Fucked!<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:40am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:14pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:52pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

by cat co-parent / 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm / Australia / Animals

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

by Zoey_M / 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Animals

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

by richardmrcs / 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Animals