About alissa412 : I can usually be found making sarcastic comments, and attempting to collect badges (not sure why, something addicting about figuring out what they are)
alissa412's FML badges
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
alissa412's favorite FMLs
Today, after lots of overcast weather, we opened the blinds to the children's section in the library, to let in the beautiful sunshine. Fifteen preschoolers were greeted by the sight of a used condom plastered against the window. FML
by Anonameow / 03/15/2016 at 2:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by savannahsboxxx / 07/11/2015 at 8:09am / United States / Animals
Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML
by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by Rusty / 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Money
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
by iamfab / 06/06/2015 at 1:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by better late than never / 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm / Health
by veiny / 04/21/2015 at 9:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
- Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end… Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was… Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even…