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alissa412

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

alissa412

6Fucked!

alissa412
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2600
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alissa412 : Not sure why people put their life stories on here... No one cares.

alissa412's page activity

Visits<b>oldjohnny</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:30am<b>monzu</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:52pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>itcouldbeanyone</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:19am<b>chriss2015</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:21am<b>darwinism</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:31am<b>lat187</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:22am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:21am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:15am<b>moontrimmer</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:33am<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:07am<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:20am

Fucked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:14pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:52pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:16am

alissa412's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of alissa412's badges

alissa412's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (2273)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (2080)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (2641)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (4315)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (4588)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (3136)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33868) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (2203)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (6747)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (45589)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (10079)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (8185)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48155) - you deserved it (9593)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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