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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2222
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

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alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51758) - you deserved it (3908)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44717) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (5645)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46696) - you deserved it (3586)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73464) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60608) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (41874)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (13262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (19487)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47886) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)



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