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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2036
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

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Visits<b>Holybatman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:18am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:12am<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:09pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:15pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>TheWiseWolf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:08pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:43am<b>PairofSocks</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>manda_xD</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:37pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:45pm<b>medic8</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:17pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:06pm<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:34pm<b>woiz</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:40am

Liked!<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (45437)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52482) - you deserved it (5469)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (5390)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (37384)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56057) - you deserved it (4435)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (10865)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40404) - you deserved it (11194)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52275) - you deserved it (3749)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65957) - you deserved it (8393)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48237) - you deserved it (3910)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40243) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48108) - you deserved it (3800) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42198) - you deserved it (4900)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44381) - you deserved it (32456) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)



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