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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2306
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:10am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:38am<b>linemanjason</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:03am<b>minimanion</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:14am<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:16am<b>Cliff6pc</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:18am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:12am<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:09pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:15pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>TheWiseWolf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:08pm<b>PairofSocks</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>manda_xD</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:37pm

Fucked!<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (2340)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (104)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (27744)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (3862)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40907) - you deserved it (13608)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50299) - you deserved it (8425)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57668) - you deserved it (6940)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52224) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46367) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48106) - you deserved it (9579)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (14786)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML



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