About alice_in_mordor : ....
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you deserved it (36411)
On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (11641) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (15529)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (31183)
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (1944)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (33924)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3386) - you deserved it (35453)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (30692)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (1990)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75006) - you deserved it (10601)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (51220)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48644) - you deserved it (7074)
On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (76195)
On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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