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alice_in_mordor

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alice_in_mordor

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1349
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

alice_in_mordor's page activity

Visits<b>woiz</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:40am<b>tapin360</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:03am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kaliande</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:26am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:38am<b>Medhi</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 10:05am<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:49pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29am<b>JRT1393</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:56pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:08am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:21am<b>Jacob_G</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:24am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:20pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:34pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:40am<b>SuicideSmurf</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:34am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:05am

Liked!<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

alice_in_mordor's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of alice_in_mordor's badges

alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (43)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (25674)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (12845)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50087) - you deserved it (8402)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (6845)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51950) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (6778)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (9558)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36927) - you deserved it (14739)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (45085)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51177) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



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