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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3020
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alice_in_mordor : ....

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Visits<b>MissEris</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:58pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:27pm<b>teyyoshi</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:14am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:27am<b>pickle682</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:25pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:54am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:46pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:21pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:28pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:50pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:10am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:38am<b>linemanjason</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:03am<b>minimanion</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:14am

Fucked!<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:28am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:46am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:35am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:24am

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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alice_in_mordor's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28362) - you deserved it (2650)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (2300)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (4014)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (44491)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (29474)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43208) - you deserved it (4367)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (14402)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (53999) - you deserved it (9014)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59675) - you deserved it (7125)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57507) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

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