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alfalfalaffa

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alfalfalaffa

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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alfalfalaffa's page activity

Visits<b>mineller</b> - 19 hours ago<b>MakeMeLaaaaugh</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Statichydro</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:28pm<b>odessarose</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:55am<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:14pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:09am<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:08am<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:09pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:50pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:18pm<b>sulvan182</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:43pm<b>ladicius</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:19pm<b>kindleh09</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:03am<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:32pm

Fucked!<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:11am<b>afrostybird</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:52am<b>summergirl69</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:22pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:11am

alfalfalaffa's FML badges

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Socialite

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I like your style

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alfalfalaffa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

#21460101
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (2297)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33156) - you deserved it (3186)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

#21454921
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (1691)

On 08/11/2015 at 8:00pm - misc - by SY5623 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (4227)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you deserved it (4957)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (4369)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (5244)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44515) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58321) - you deserved it (8157)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (15857)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62702) - you deserved it (10845)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46753) - you deserved it (6639)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (6276)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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