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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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alfalfalaffa's page activity

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alfalfalaffa's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39349) - you deserved it (4361)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (5208)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML


I agree, your life sucks (55302) - you deserved it (7775)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (15844)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60959) - you deserved it (10486)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (6358)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (6273)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51733) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

FML's blog

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  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

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