alexh15

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 12:13pm)

alexh15

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3330
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About alexh15 : My name is Alex. I am from Cape Town, South Africa. No, I do not ride an elephant to school, and no, I do not have a lion as a pet. But yes, I am white. Go figure right? :P Anyway. This has got to be the most awesome app on my iPhone. But even though I am using the app, I still check my messages. So please go ahead, and message me to your hearts content. I will reply ASAP. I am sure that if you are stalking my profile, then you are awesome enough to give a speedy reply to. You are awesome enough right? Course you are... Psssh.

Well, that's about all I've got, so, have a chill day... :P

Cheers.

alexh15's page activity

Visits<b>Raz346</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:29pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:43pm<b>tessisue</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:44pm<b>katyie</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:31am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Ben14h</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:39am<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:50pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:07pm<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:30am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Marine6297</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:38pm<b>xITzAusTin</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:21pm<b>fridaayy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:15pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>btob143</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:09pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:20pm

alexh15's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of alexh15's badges

alexh15's favorite FMLs

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

by ReallyBro / 03/21/2012 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML

by i2xl / 02/24/2012 at 10:28am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

by inked / 02/05/2012 at 12:54am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

by random / 01/29/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy