About alexh15 : My name is Alex. I am from Cape Town, South Africa. No, I do not ride an elephant to school, and no, I do not have a lion as a pet. But yes, I am white. Go figure right? :P Anyway. This has got to be the most awesome app on my iPhone. But even though I am using the app, I still check my messages. So please go ahead, and message me to your hearts content. I will reply ASAP. I am sure that if you are stalking my profile, then you are awesome enough to give a speedy reply to. You are awesome enough right? Course you are... Psssh.
Well, that's about all I've got, so, have a chill day... :P
Cheers.
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Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (3462)
On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (10619)
On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37154) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (2216)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11086) - you deserved it (24452)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (27249)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (1705)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5211) - you deserved it (16725)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11004) - you deserved it (17366)
On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (2162)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (6854)
On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (3267)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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