alexh15

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Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 12:13pm)

alexh15

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3460
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About alexh15 : My name is Alex. I am from Cape Town, South Africa. No, I do not ride an elephant to school, and no, I do not have a lion as a pet. But yes, I am white. Go figure right? :P Anyway. This has got to be the most awesome app on my iPhone. But even though I am using the app, I still check my messages. So please go ahead, and message me to your hearts content. I will reply ASAP. I am sure that if you are stalking my profile, then you are awesome enough to give a speedy reply to. You are awesome enough right? Course you are... Psssh.

Well, that's about all I've got, so, have a chill day... :P

Cheers.

alexh15's page activity

Visits<b>Raz346</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:29pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:43pm<b>tessisue</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:44pm<b>katyie</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:31am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Ben14h</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:39am<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:50pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:07pm<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:30am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Marine6297</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:38pm<b>xITzAusTin</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:21pm<b>fridaayy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:15pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:45pm<b>btob143</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:09pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:20pm

alexh15's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of alexh15's badges

alexh15's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

by thatgirl17 / 08/31/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

by Demetria / 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love