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alcoholmage

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alcoholmage
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

#13909761
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (3825)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (7224)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (21797)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (2434)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (17924)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (44857)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (4323)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

#13764909
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (7165)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7307) - you deserved it (30224)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11059) - you deserved it (42625)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML

#12995746
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (1932)

On 09/10/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9380) - you deserved it (33455)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15331) - you deserved it (32427)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (13408)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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