About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):
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Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6960) - you deserved it (26213)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (5185)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6361) - you deserved it (87979)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (9426)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (4155)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by livin (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (53689)
On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61156) - you deserved it (2103)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (31138)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60688) - you deserved it (6911)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54401) - you deserved it (7171)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (41099)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (74451)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (13926)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (73749)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51874) - you deserved it (2923)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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