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alcoholmage

Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 7:34pm) | Search for a member

alcoholmage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do. Uni student!

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Visits<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:17am<b>Kbryant321</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:30pm<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:25am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:33pm<b>snapper89768</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>pandaoprincess</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 7:00pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:53pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:22pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:17pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:58am<b>shaar</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am<b>SaraAnn1401</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sapoi99</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 5:55pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 5:05pm

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alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (57940)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11329) - you deserved it (112769)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (8351)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML

#15749336
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (11233)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47987) - you deserved it (4392)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (37741)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

#14585714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (5617)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

#14407815
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (8094)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:06am - love - by bleurghh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12360) - you deserved it (81645)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (10905)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

#13909761
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (4049)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (8909)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9379) - you deserved it (24105)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)



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