About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):
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Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (1929)
On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4209) - you deserved it (18185)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (9028)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (4722)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5427) - you deserved it (50895)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (3796)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (2416)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (20789)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am - work - by Interview tragedy - United States (Texas)
Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (16360)
On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (1596)
On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (5291)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (2251)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 20 May 2013
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