About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (6103)
On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (27879)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (2903)
On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9507) - you deserved it (33412)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8228) - you deserved it (25746)
On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13813) - you deserved it (25288)
On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (10306)
On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56622) - you deserved it (6314)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6725) - you deserved it (17442)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (3114)
On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (7815)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (2655)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (17458)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (26512)
On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (19643)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
