alcoholmage

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Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 5:19pm)

alcoholmage

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5318
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do. Uni student!

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Visits<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:00pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:57am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:17am<b>Kbryant321</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:30pm<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:25am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:33pm<b>snapper89768</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>pandaoprincess</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 7:00pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:53pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:22pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:17pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:58am<b>shaar</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am<b>SaraAnn1401</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sapoi99</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 5:55pm

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alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 3:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

by tooearly / 01/01/2012 at 3:31am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous