About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):
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Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8803) - you deserved it (83538)
On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (9130)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (3360)
On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14869) - you deserved it (33239)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (3854)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (5048)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)
Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (6071)
On 12/31/2010 at 10:06am - love - by bleurghh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9251) - you deserved it (63968)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (3009)
On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)
Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (7163)
On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (2396)
On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17509) - you deserved it (13537)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you deserved it (34607)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (3472)
On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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