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alcoholmage

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alcoholmage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1993
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do. Uni student!

alcoholmage's page activity

Visits<b>Kbryant321</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:30pm<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:25am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:33pm<b>snapper89768</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>pandaoprincess</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 7:00pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:53pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:22pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:22am<b>loriprieto</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:17pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:58am<b>shaar</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am<b>SaraAnn1401</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sapoi99</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 5:55pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 5:05pm

alcoholmage's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of alcoholmage's badges

alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (4619)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11574) - you deserved it (32907)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (8299)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

#19733599
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2298)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (2605)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (3970) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (2753)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (9455)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (5255)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46207) - you deserved it (8855)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (4051)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (52184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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