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alcoholmage

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alcoholmage
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1126
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alcoholmage : I've got nothing much to say :L As a high-schooler, I occasionally find time to go on FML for reading when I have nothing to do ):

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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alcoholmage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (63460)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77081) - you deserved it (4257)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30245) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

#6791781
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (25465)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am - work - by Interview tragedy - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (16600)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39561) - you deserved it (2121)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (5686)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27729) - you deserved it (2814)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (7981)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (5850)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (34068)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5340)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)



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