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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (138) - you deserved it (16427)
On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72421) - you deserved it (13939)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99745) - you deserved it (15645)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106999) - you deserved it (7717)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183045) - you deserved it (61951)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (416500) - you deserved it (26648)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (32775)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)
Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (6137)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64618) - you deserved it (3036)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (1684)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (3041)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6971) - you deserved it (40715)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3613) - you deserved it (28432)
On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12523) - you deserved it (27487)
On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4889) - you deserved it (39030)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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