Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alchemist5

Search for a member

alchemist5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6950
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alchemist5's page activity

Visits<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:27am<b>bearin</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:31pm<b>yourlifesmellsli</b> - the 09/08/2010 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:17pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm

alchemist5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alchemist5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82528) - you deserved it (16343)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117042) - you deserved it (21601)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236396) - you deserved it (82022)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (40431)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47342) - you deserved it (7314)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73222) - you deserved it (3852)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (3969)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9234) - you deserved it (52820)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5396) - you deserved it (39064)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16033) - you deserved it (37900)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6645) - you deserved it (51422)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13732) - you deserved it (25564)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: