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alchemist5

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alchemist5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 6649
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alchemist5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75812) - you deserved it (14634)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110755) - you deserved it (20142)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213782) - you deserved it (73285)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (33244)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45028) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65419) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (3701)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (49349)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4321) - you deserved it (35007)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (35587)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6052) - you deserved it (48900)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (23800)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)



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