alchemist5

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alchemist5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7474
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alchemist5's page activity

Visits<b>haleykae</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:04am<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:27am<b>bearin</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:31pm<b>yourlifesmellsli</b> - the 09/08/2010 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:17pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm

alchemist5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alchemist5's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

by thisreallysucks2 / 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

by AwesomePGnarles / 02/13/2009 at 3:17am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 5:41am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

by 315 / 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

by carboat / 01/28/2009 at 4:24am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

by insearch4i / 01/22/2009 at 10:14am / United States (Arizona) / Geek

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous