albow2dking007

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albow2dking007

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3927
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About albow2dking007 : Just Ask

albow2dking007's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Camy321_x3</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:57am<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:44am<b>fayman</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:36pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Lennox_B</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:23am<b>EmilianaLondon</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:53pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:54am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:11pm<b>kakalynn16</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:25pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:31am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:46pm<b>chelseaaababyyy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/15/2011 at 12:58am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm<b>Nimmrodel</b> - the 09/18/2011 at 9:28am

albow2dking007's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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albow2dking007's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

by Panda_Bearr / 09/03/2011 at 12:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

by Actor / 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

by Beepbeepbeep / 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

by anti88 / 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

by Bigpoppa0507 / 08/31/2011 at 10:02am / Canada / Health

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

by girlsx2mom / 08/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

by honeybee2487 / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Work