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albow2dking007

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albow2dking007

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2096
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About albow2dking007 : Just Ask

albow2dking007's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Camy321_x3</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:57am<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:44am<b>fayman</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:36pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Lennox_B</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:23am<b>EmilianaLondon</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:53pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:54am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:11pm<b>kakalynn16</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:25pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:31am<b>mr_breeezy</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:04am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:46pm<b>chelseaaababyyy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/15/2011 at 12:58am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm

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albow2dking007's favorite FMLs

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

#17683604
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (2396)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (4052)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (2371)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48008) - you deserved it (5741)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

#17658783
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (2044)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by brownieswillneverbethesame (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (2048)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (3012)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (37937)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML

#17652939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (3253)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10269) - you deserved it (47089)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML



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