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albow2dking007

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albow2dking007

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1952
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About albow2dking007 : Just Ask

albow2dking007's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Camy321_x3</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:57am<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:44am<b>fayman</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:36pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Lennox_B</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:23am<b>EmilianaLondon</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:53pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:54am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:11pm<b>kakalynn16</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:25pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:31am<b>mr_breeezy</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:04am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:46pm<b>chelseaaababyyy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/15/2011 at 12:58am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm

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albow2dking007's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44087) - you deserved it (8801)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (7859) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48097) - you deserved it (8026)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

#20907125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (5343)

On 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm - health - by likeyourboss (man) - Denmark

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42080) - you deserved it (5365)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (6288)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36671) - you deserved it (2995)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (2819)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (2372)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML



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