albow2dking007

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albow2dking007

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3924
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About albow2dking007 : Just Ask

albow2dking007's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Camy321_x3</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:57am<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:44am<b>fayman</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:36pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Lennox_B</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:23am<b>EmilianaLondon</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:53pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:54am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:11pm<b>kakalynn16</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:25pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:31am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:46pm<b>chelseaaababyyy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/15/2011 at 12:58am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm<b>Nimmrodel</b> - the 09/18/2011 at 9:28am

albow2dking007's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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albow2dking007's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

by likeyourboss / 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm / Denmark / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

by clean / 09/16/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

by MissCharlotte / 08/21/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health