About alanvazquez1 : My name is Alan but I go by Romeo. I'm 22, I'm from L.A. But live in Georgia now. I like to work on cars and go out with my friends. I'm taking a few college classes on the side to try and continue my education.
alanvazquez1's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
alanvazquez1's favorite FMLs
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Holly / 08/29/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by anon / 08/29/2012 at 12:52am / United States (Maine) / Money
Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML
by me / 08/29/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
by p / 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML
by ticketed / 08/28/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
by tutusaurus / 08/28/2012 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
by gotta love my momma / 08/28/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by spekledworf / 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by arh / 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.… Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really…