About alanvazquez1 : My name is Alan but I go by Juan or Diego. I'm 21, I'm from L.A. But live in Georgia now. I like to work on cars and go out with my friends. I'm taking a few college classes on the side to try and continue my education.
alanvazquez1's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
alanvazquez1's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by frustrated / 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn / 09/03/2012 at 4:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by ugly / 09/03/2012 at 4:17am / United States / Love
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
by DrunkenShopper / 09/03/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Washington) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by screamer / 09/02/2012 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML
by CC / 09/02/2012 at 2:27am / United States (Michigan) / Health
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…