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alanvazquez1

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alanvazquez1
  • Town/Country : Dalton, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 770
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alanvazquez1 : My name is Alan but I go by Juan. I'm 19, I'm from L.A. But live in Dalton, Georgia now. I like to work on cars and go out with my friends. I'm taking a few college classes on the side to try and continue my education.

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alanvazquez1's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (22240)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (1028)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14086) - you deserved it (3925)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (4682)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (1671)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (1589)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20335) - you deserved it (1470)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4198) - you deserved it (27425)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10585) - you deserved it (26108)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (31590)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

#20053572
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (3621)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

#20052963
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (1298)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (42432)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)



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