Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alanvazquez1

Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 4:43pm) | Search for a member

alanvazquez1

1Fucked!

alanvazquez1
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2056
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alanvazquez1 : My name is Alan but I go by Juan or Diego. I'm 21, I'm from L.A. But live in Georgia now. I like to work on cars and go out with my friends. I'm taking a few college classes on the side to try and continue my education.

alanvazquez1's page activity

Visits<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:59am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:54pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:28pm<b>nickthegoodkitty</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:09pm<b>val_is_lame97</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:46pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:40pm<b>klenorris</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:30am<b>w0o0a</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:30pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:32pm<b>hobojo69</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:26pm<b>averynicole18</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:47am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:19pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:43pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:31pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:15pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 7:30pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:01pm<b>darlingdollie</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:23am

Fucked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:30am

alanvazquez1's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of alanvazquez1's badges

alanvazquez1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

#20056910
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (2838)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (24528)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (1712)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (4086)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (1817)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (2156)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5389) - you deserved it (31260)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (2153)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (3159)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12435) - you deserved it (29238)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12921) - you deserved it (34731)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

#20053572
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (4328)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: