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alanvazquez1

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alanvazquez1
  • Town/Country : Dalton, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 755
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alanvazquez1 : My name is Alan but I go by Juan. I'm 19, I'm from L.A. But live in Dalton, Georgia now. I like to work on cars and go out with my friends. I'm taking a few college classes on the side to try and continue my education.

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alanvazquez1's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14543) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (5739)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (24393)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57090) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57090) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (1282)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7147) - you deserved it (36741)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

#20078825
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (1949)

On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States



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