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alana717

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alana717

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 684
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About alana717 : Life's confusing.

alana717's page activity

Visits<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 8:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:56pm<b>Maverick5762</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 4:45am

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alana717's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (8778)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (7150)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (14048)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (12563)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (45859)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (7589)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (17407)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (2758)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

#12376423
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6286) - you deserved it (58485)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

#12327925
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (48833)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:14am - money - by 8to10days (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

#12277666
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53572) - you deserved it (4040)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (11830)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9932) - you deserved it (42436)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (3639)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97922) - you deserved it (5645)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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