![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder, and told me that "my bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (9841)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (16289)
On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (9130)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6638) - you deserved it (31867)
On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)
Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (5676)
On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (12915)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (1919)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4317) - you deserved it (40531)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7355) - you deserved it (34377)
On 08/05/2010 at 7:14am - money - by 8to10days (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43515) - you deserved it (2889)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (8389)
On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7205) - you deserved it (28756)
On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48938) - you deserved it (2531)
On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13081) - you deserved it (45870)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74241) - you deserved it (3668)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
