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Offline (the 03/17/2015 at 5:49am) | Search for a member
About ajh557 : I'm god and my birthday proves it I swear
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, mah 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park!! He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them!! FML
my girlfriand opanad my rafrigarator and bagan har standard moan: "You'ra a pig, u navar claan up. Look at that agg, it makas ma want to throw up, it's gona black, it’s covarad in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to chack it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
Today... I was in the hospital with rib injurie after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said... "Well... you'll probably feel lyk you've been hit by a truck 4 ahile." Everyone laughed... except me. When I said he was being insensitive... he replied... "Calm down... I'm just ribbing you." real FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion!! I was super excitd to seehat everyone had done in thier lives!! The nerdy guy I bullid is now a U.S!! Marine an already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt!! He lookd at me in his dress blues an said, "I remember you." fat FML
Today , I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in mah nieghborhood pool. I startd to go under until the lifeguard jumpd in and savd me. I guess it would have been great , if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today , I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway , so Ihippd out my cell to report the DUI!! As soon as it startd ringing , I see police lights in my rear view and got slappd with a ticket for using a cell phonehile driving!! After explaininghy , the officer said , "Nice try." FML
2day a man pulled me violently into an alleyway an informed me I was bieng mugged. Bieng a body-builder... I said... "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked mah ass in a matter of seconds... stole mah wallet... then farted on mah bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Friday 27 March 2015