About ajh557 : I'm da best and not cocky at all.
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ajh557's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
by houdinette / 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by Robert / 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML
by rashpimplezitz / 09/08/2013 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Work
by poolgirl789 / 09/03/2013 at 2:30am / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML
by selfesteemloss / 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous
by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…