About aj510 : I am a 14 year old black person. I play football. I am single and i love reading fmls. I am not a grammer nazi like somepeople. I know how to treat a lady i am not a jerk. If u want u can message me. Im on here erryday so bye.
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aj510's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
by just me / 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Spudzy / 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
by Hannah / 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous
- Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook… Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to… Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over…
- Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…