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agentx52

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agentx52
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2448
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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agentx52's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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agentx52's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49898) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53800) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (5778)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44874) - you deserved it (3639)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (45010)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (36091)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (3760)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31109) - you deserved it (2474)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40444) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14452) - you deserved it (101450)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (9363)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (6088)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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