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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (1889)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (51096)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (4670)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (4213)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (2262)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (2410)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2900)
On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8116) - you deserved it (32810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2340)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (6838)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (3244)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (3915)
On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (1543)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (5698)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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