agentx52

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agentx52

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13211
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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agentx52's page activity

Visits<b>Benpie</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:49pm<b>Daniven36</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:46am<b>decladon007</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:29pm<b>COURT_KING</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:43pm<b>YeahItsMeTommy</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:31pm<b>hemiol</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:48am<b>kawaii666</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:27pm<b>IthinkYouForeign</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:54pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:21pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:38am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MrImright</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:43pm<b>pearlgalaxy</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:29am<b>Whorunstheworld</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Domi2015</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Bumblebrea99</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 8:21pm

agentx52's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of agentx52's badges

agentx52's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

by Thors_Hammer9999 / 11/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

by me / 11/20/2013 at 10:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

by juice723 / 11/20/2013 at 6:09am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy