Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

agentx52

Search for a member

agentx52

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4515
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

agentx52's page activity

Visits<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:21pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:38am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MrImright</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:43pm<b>pearlgalaxy</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:29am<b>Whorunstheworld</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Domi2015</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Bumblebrea99</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 8:21pm<b>LittleBigMidget</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 9:11pm<b>pnutzmckracken</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:55pm<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:21pm<b>tiernang</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 7:21am<b>Ron_John41</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:02pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:54am<b>badminton</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 11:49pm<b>ITS_Arnold</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:34am<b>9463rules</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 8:47pm

agentx52's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of agentx52's badges

agentx52's favorite FMLs

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML

#20986108
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (2523)

On 12/09/2013 at 7:59am - misc - by someone - United States (Ohio)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52998) - you deserved it (2928)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46566) - you deserved it (5127)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50812) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44888) - you deserved it (5566)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (5753)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33955) - you deserved it (5498)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (4944)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43597) - you deserved it (7142)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (35888)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40709) - you deserved it (41285)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43741) - you deserved it (5385)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: