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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (20831)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (4408)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (2749)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (17086)
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (32391)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (15301)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8069) - you deserved it (21548)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12768) - you deserved it (1202)
On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom
Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15548) - you deserved it (4163)
On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States
Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (1757)
On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16069) - you deserved it (7260)
On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (2025)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5020) - you deserved it (37261)
On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (4566)
On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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