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actionwaters's favorite FMLs
by Username / 08/10/2011 at 8:36am / United States / Love
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 9:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by mynoseburns / 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML
by NC / 02/11/2010 at 2:32am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
by iluvjenknee / 01/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by burnedboy / 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML
by Porcelain / 10/03/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle… Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full…