acoustics

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Offline (the 09/10/2015 at 1:38am)

acoustics

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 532
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About acoustics : hello! I like penguins and making things awkward.

acoustics's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:39pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:04am<b>insulinshot</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:53pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:29pm<b>smrn95</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:48am<b>borloff</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:15pm<b>katekoala</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:15pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:15am<b>Indecisionx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:03am<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:44am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:29pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:28pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:08pm<b>AHopelessDeath</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:21pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:39pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:30pm

acoustics's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of acoustics's badges

acoustics's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 6:34am / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Work

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

by Drunk / 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

by Krissy / 01/25/2010 at 3:36am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

by porkythighs / 12/27/2009 at 9:19am / Singapore / Love

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

by KnuckleSandwich / 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (New York) / Health