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acoundou

Offline (the 09/26/2014 at 8:44pm) | Search for a member

acoundou

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  • Number of visits : 152
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acoundou's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35729) - you deserved it (10420) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (10221)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML

#19157879
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (3689)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

#19094403
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (8996)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (4922)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47476) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (77397)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

#17986528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (10414)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35269) - you deserved it (3568)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39949) - you deserved it (4459)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States



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