acneegg

Search for a member

acneegg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4715
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

acneegg's page activity

Visits<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:01pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:49pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 11:00pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:45am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:01am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:33am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:38am<b>gamerman33</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:43am<b>vaxc</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:59pm

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:43pm

acneegg's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of acneegg's badges

acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2009 at 12:39am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2009 at 12:39am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

by dramateach11 / 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous