acneegg

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acneegg

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5619
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

acneegg's page activity

Visits<b>chrisfromCanada</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 10:48am<b>ajswifey91</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:19pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:45am<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:19pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:01pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:49pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 11:00pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:45am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:01am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:33am

Fucked!<b>chrisfromCanada</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 4:48pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:43pm

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acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

by Jacky-Boy / 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

by BirthdayGirl / 07/24/2009 at 2:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

by sadinseattle / 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 12:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm / Iraq (Arbil) / Intimacy

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love