About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (19042)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11525) - you deserved it (15098)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (1930)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41473) - you deserved it (2657)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (3267)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (3007)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (2564)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7446) - you deserved it (76253)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (3799)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (4684)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (12300)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74435) - you deserved it (3646)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (12027)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54698) - you deserved it (12531)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4206) - you deserved it (39747)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by chacha_bby - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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