About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.
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acneegg's favorite FMLs
by graospe / 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by lonewolf2701 / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / United States / Intimacy
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
by AussieGirl / 11/21/2009 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
by FreeOfCharge / 09/21/2009 at 2:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML
by chacha_bby / 08/23/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous