acneegg

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acneegg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4909
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

acneegg's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:45am<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:19pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:01pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:49pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 11:00pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:45am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:01am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:33am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:38am<b>gamerman33</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:07am

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:43pm

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acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

by graospe / 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

by lonewolf2701 / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

by AussieGirl / 11/21/2009 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

by FreeOfCharge / 09/21/2009 at 2:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML

by chacha_bby / 08/23/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous