acneegg

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acneegg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4708
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

acneegg's page activity

Visits<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:01pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:49pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 11:00pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:45am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:01am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:33am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:38am<b>gamerman33</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:43am<b>vaxc</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:59pm

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:43pm

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acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

by gatorhead / 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

by urrrppp / 03/26/2010 at 5:44am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

by anon / 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

by volleyballgirl12 / 01/17/2010 at 1:31am / Love

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

by Tights2Tight / 12/19/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous