About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.
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acneegg's favorite FMLs
Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
by gatorhead / 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by urrrppp / 03/26/2010 at 5:44am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
by anon / 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by volleyballgirl12 / 01/17/2010 at 1:31am / Love
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML
by Tights2Tight / 12/19/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…