acneegg

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acneegg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5173
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

acneegg's page activity

Visits<b>ajswifey91</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:19pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:45am<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:19pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:01pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:49pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 11:00pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:45am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:01am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:33am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:38am

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:43pm

acneegg's FML badges

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acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

by deeenalynn / 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

by huwauw / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous