About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (2676)
On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2809)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31326) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46857) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41135) - you deserved it (10423)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62982) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (11631)
On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (3524)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2306)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47675)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (34820)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (24887)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (6984)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
I agree, your life sucks (17623) - you deserved it (4930)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16422) - you deserved it (13515)
On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
