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acneegg

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acneegg
  • Town/Country : Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2283
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acneegg : Sup. I'm Alice and em yeah. Sorry I'm not in a very imaginative mood ;) Enjoy.

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acneegg's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67996)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15112) - you deserved it (28069)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39277) - you deserved it (8141)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (7758)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (16350)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30954) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (7078)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (4530)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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